One would like to protect them in a bubble, but we know that one cannot, Francisco Denolf reflects on the role of parents who face a society that does not know how to treat people with disabilities. His role as a father has played with Javi, who suffers from intellectual disability after suffering a medical complication, he said.
Denolf recalls that, at the beginning of his learning on how to be a father, it was hard for him to adapt, because he had not faced a reality of such magnitude and did not know how to act. It emphasizes that there is no school of parents to indicate how to proceed, much less with a child with intellectual disabilities.
At the beginning of his story he tells that, when he first arrived at the place where his son was, his tears came out when he saw his little boy, who would quickly steal his heart.
Denolf tells that his son was born healthy, but that a medical procedure was what caused his disability. According to his story, it was an overdose of mercury in a vaccine that caused an injury to the cerebral cortex, which triggered disability.
“Anyone can happen to anyone: an intellectual disability can come for a bad blow, an accident, for a thousand and one ways. So, I think that is what had to live on him. Part of his mission was that: being someone and illuminating everyone around him. It is not bad, it is not a bad situation,” Francisco Denol meditated.
In his learning as a father, Denolf emphasizes that it is a role that is living day by day, which is enriching the experience, because his son gives him life. Returning home after work and living with him is a repairing thing that fills him with energy, joys and affection.
He confesses that, at first, it was difficult to play his role as a father, but that it was because of the fears caused by ignorance of how to treat the unknown. After his learning and seeing the love he receives from his son, being a father became easy and satisfying.
“If one loves people around them, they have a problem, I think it is not difficult to learn to take care of them,” he says.
Denolf emphasizes that love for family is the key to learning how to correct and educate a child with disabilities. (Free Press Photo: Francisco Denolf)
“This process taught me to be more grateful”
The learning of his son’s education led him to be more grateful to life and what he has; more grateful to wake up and with the little things. Confesses that, prior to being dad, It was different, but his son has taught him to be grateful for being alive, breathing or simply getting up.
The greatest teaching his son has given him is love, a paternal love that makes all the struggle, sacrifice and effort look simple. He has shown that it is possible to appreciate others in his surroundings and put a child again.
“Sometimes one says: I’m already big, I don’t have to do this anymore, I don’t have to do the other anymore. But in the long run, with them, you have to go down, be a child again. When we go to excursions, to coexistence, one learns to be a child again. They discover, and one with them,” he added.
For Francisco Denolf, his son not only gave him more life, but he filled him spiritually and gave him a single connection loop. He emphasizes that, if I had the option to start over, he would be a father again to learn everything he knows today.
“I would be a father again, I would not matter whether the child is healthy or not, if he has a disability or not. It would really be again,” he said with conviction.
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“As a father, it hurts to see how others see a child badly”
One of the challenges they face as parents is the lack of information and treatment towards people with intellectual disabilities, Denolf stands out. It details that Guatemalan society has prejudices towards this group, prejudices that are born from fear and ignorance.
“There are those who have no idea and make them feel bad; they stay, even with displays, bad faces, and one, in order not to harm them, have to swallow all that and ignore them,” he said.
He confesses that, in the course of his life, he has encountered people who make his son or his friends feel bad, and even ignore them when they greet them.
“Unfortunately, they have to be coupled to society. It is part that they learn to live together, so they will have to live all stages,” he reflects. “It hurts, as parents it hurts,” he said.
He also added: “As a father, it hurts to see how others see a child badly, but if they do not learn, they will not defend themselves in life. The projection to society has to be part of that learning, unfortunately. One would like to always protect them in a bubble, but you cannot.”
Therefore, it emphasizes that it is necessary to teach children to face these types of situations and not keep them isolated, because only with the integration to society people will learn to live together.
His role as dad led him to create a foundation to support the education and therapy of his son and people with intellectual disabilities. (Photo: Free Press / Francisco Denolf)
His father’s role led him further
The learning he has had with his son and the complications of life led Francisco Denolf to take another step to help his son and his community. An event of life led him to create his own foundation to educate, prepare and support people with disabilities.
“When I saw that Javi began to grow, I said: we have to do a little more. It is no longer only scolding, but guiding it and guiding it,” he shared.
Together with his wife and other parents with children with intellectual disabilities, they founded the Association of Social Inclusion and help to the community (AISAC), which has made it live with other people with disabilities, learn and fight more.
The association’s challenge has led him to find a balance between his work, his family and his work with each of those who make up Aisac.
Finally, Francisco Denolf shared that being a father led him to transform into a better version of himself, to maintain his word, to be a more homely person, who enjoys the time he can.
“When I saw that Javi began to grow, I said: we have to do a little more. It is no longer just scolding, but guiding it and guiding it,” Denolf said. (Photo: Free Press / Francisco Denolf)