“It was a bucket of cold water and, at the same time, an adventure where one says ‘I am afraid, but I have to do it’, and there was no going back,” Daniel Herrera defines paternity from the moment she became a single father, during the pandemic.
Herrera remembers that assuming the complete responsibility of his son Sebastián was “something overnight.”
What could have been an overwhelming experience became an opportunity for growth. “There were two things that changed the world, my world,” Herrera reflects on the combination of the new family situation and confinement by COVID-19.
The key is to enjoy the process
Unlike many parents who live parenting as a burden, Herrera found in it a source of joy. “Sometimes I feel that I talk to other people who are in the same position as me, regardless of gender, and like they say it with a load tone, but really, in my case, I enjoy it a lot”, He explains.
This positive attitude is no accident. Herrera attributes his successful adaptation to the values with which he was educated: “The principles remain the same. What changed a little is how priorities.” His philosophy is clear: if he is already in that situation, it is best to enjoy it.
A father-child relationship built in communication
One of Herrera’s keys as a single father It has been to establish solid communication channels with Sebastián. “I think the one who opens the form of communication is one as dad,” he says.
This communication remains constant: every day, at 1:30 p.m., Herrera expects Sebastián’s call to tell him how he went at school.
However, Herrera is clear in maintaining the balance between communication and authority: “He knows that we are not friends, that he cannot treat me like a friend, but there is a point where he knows how he has to talk to me.”
Navigating the digital era as responsible father
Technology has been both an ally and a challenge in the raising of Sebastián. Herrera had to give her child a phone before the recommended age, due to the circumstances, but knew how to establish intelligent limits.
“One of the first steps is to dose access to the network,” he explains. He used parental control tools and established schedules, but the most important thing was education: “instill in them the fact that there is evil outside, that anyone can pass through what is not.”
The result of this strategy is visible: now that Sebastián is going to turn 15, Herrera has released almost all controls, and the adolescent, by his own will, turns off his phone before 23 hours.
Family support: fundamental pillar
Herrera acknowledges that he has not been alone on this journey. “One of the very important pillars is the help of the family. In my case, my dad is my right hand. Without him, I think I could not get ahead,” he admits honestly.
This support network has been crucial to maintain the stability that Sebastian needs, especially considering that Herrera must exercise his paternity “at a distance” much of the time for his work.
“I think I am forming an entire person, who knows what good is, what is bad and the fact of not harming. Respect for everyone, we all deserve respect,” concludes Herrera about his work as a father. He reflects that forcing a relationship will never be beneficial, so his recommendation is “to listen first and then try to communicate what one wants as dad.”