Emotional ties Among individuals can lead to two paths: Love or attachment. These feelings, according to British psychiatrist John Bowlby, are influenced by the care received during the first years of life, which are essential in interpersonal relationships in adulthood.
Bowlby emphasizes that the biological needs in childhood – such as protection, care and affection – constitute the basis of trust and the type of link that a person develops towards others, either in a relationship of a couple, friendship or in the work environment.
Ximena Fuentes, clinical psychologist and couple therapist, comments that, given the different ways of perceiving love and maintaining a link, many people experience a constant need for closeness. These feelings may be influenced by fear of abandonment or anxiety that arises when the couple must move away, which can lead to An emotional attachment.
The expert points out that these emotions are not simple insecurities derived from specific experiences, but can constitute signs of a deeper affective pattern, identified by psychology as an anxious attachment.
What is attachment according to psychology?
The study by John Bowlby, father of attachment theory, defines that Attachment is an emotion linked to security, trust and connections, and that arises from the experiences of each individual during their childhood with the main care figure.
These first interactions influence the affective and social development of the person, which can regulate their sense of exploration and trust towards others.
Psychology has identified four types of attachment: safe, anxious or ambivalent, and avoidance.
The Portal Specialized in Emotional Health Rya Psychologists explains that anxious attachment is characterized by a deep need for validation and a distrust of the other person. This feeling is accompanied by the fear of being abandoned.
“This is why people with this attachment constantly seek their partner’s closeness and require the continuous reaffirmation of their affection and commitment,” says the portal.
Sources emphasizes that those who experience this type of attachment usually live worried about not being enough for the other person, which could cause the loss of the bond. Therefore, they tend to follow their partner’s instructions.
Psychiatry.com points out that attachment is conditioned by protection needs not adequately met in childhood.
Anxious attachment can be an answer to childhood care needs. (Free Press Photo: Shuttersock)
How to recognize anxious attachment in a relationship?
This type of emotional attachment presents signals that can help identify whether the person or their partner experiences it.
Among the main alerts, the clinical psychologist stands out:
- Constant need for emotional validation: frequent doubts about whether the couple still loves or loves them.
- Fear of abandonment: disproportionate anxiety against temporary separations or discussions.
- Jealousy and insecurity: even in the absence of clear motifs.
- Excessive sacrifice: behaviors aimed at not losing the relationship, even if they imply renouncing their own well -being.
- Emotional hypervigilance: interpretation of silences or minimum changes as signs of rejection.
Where does this emotional pattern come from?
Fuentes explains that this emotional pattern begins in childhood and is linked to affective deficiencies and memories of unpredictable care.
It emphasizes that expressing affection on some occasions and then abandon it, or condition love samples, can cause this type of attachment in adulthood.
“This makes the child learn to intensify his emotions as a strategy not to be ignored, developing anticipatory anguish in the face of the possibility of being abandoned,” says Fuentes.
These emotions may seem passengers, but in adulthood or in the first love relationships they are reactivated, reviving child fears unless they are seen, valued or loved. This generates anxiety, jealousy and extreme affection.
It is possible to transform anxious attachment
The analysis of the psychologist Fuentes establishes that it is possible to transform the anxious attachment with psychotherapeutic help, which allows to build a safer self -esteem and work facts of the past that have left traces.
To do this, the patient must be worked through the attachment theory or cognitive-behavioral therapy, since these tools allow identifying chess patterns and harmful behaviors, and rebuilding self-image.
Another key area is self -knowledge, which implies evaluating emotions without judging them, in order to learn to manage them.
Emotional regulation:
- Conscious breathing
- Meditation
- Emotional writing
These practices help people not act from anxiety, thus fighting anxious attachment.
In order for the process to be effective, it is recommended to develop safe links through healthy relationships with emotionally available and coherent people, which can eventually promote a safer attachment over time.
Finally, Fuentes concludes that these emotions should not be considered as a personal failure, but as an emotional response learned that can be transformed through therapeutic work
The process of acceptance and emotional poyo could help regulate anxiety generated by anxious attachment. (Free Press Photo: Shuttersock)