Since Mariana was little, in her environment she listened to phrases like “You are a silly”, “You cannot do anything”, “you are not useful” and many other similar.
His parents never told him “I love you.” They assumed that Mariana understood that they loved her because “they gave her everything.”
On the other hand, her friend Julia’s environment was different. His family constantly reminded him how intelligent, brave, strong and valuable it was. In addition, the phrase “I love you” was repeated constantly.
Both were very good friends and got along; However, the way they communicated was different, since Mariana cost more than Julia to express her feelings, until a point came where her friendship was affected.
This type of attitudes is because Words have a deep impact on our emotional, psychological and even neurological development.
Words and its impact on the brain
The psychologist Regina Villagrán explains that “the way we head towards other people has a direct impact on the brain, and this is formed from the first words we hear.”
According to Villagrán, The mother’s voice, for example, has a soothing effect on babies, while a cry or a violent dialogue can generate stress and anxiety. “Language generates changes in our brain and modifies the perception of the environment,” he says.
In addition, Villagrán emphasizes that The way they talk to us about children becomes our inner voice of adults. “Our thoughts and the way we build our self -esteem and the perception we have of ourselves are directly related to the language we receive in our childhood,” he says.
For example, if a child is constantly told that he is “silly,” he is likely to internalize that belief and repeat it in his internal dialogue, affecting his self -esteem and his ability to function in society.
The tone and intention also count
However, Not only words matter, but also the tone in which they are said. Villagrán explains that an intimidating tone can generate fear and distrust, while a kind tone, even if spoken firmly, can be perceived as a sign of respect and care. “The tone influences how we receive the message. If it is intimidating, you can generate a defense or flight response, ”he says.
The lasting impact of negative words
María René Ordoñez clinical psychologist points out that The effects of negative words can be surprisingly durable. “Our brain activates a process called ‘negativity bias’, where negative comments are registered with greater intensity and can leave a difficult emotional mark to erase,” he explains.
These comments are especially shocking when they come from authority figuresas parents or teachers, since they are people to whom children usually admire and respect.
To this, the psychologist Arturo Archila adds that Dysonant words, those that generate fear, anger or sadness, have a deep effect on the brain. “These words are recorded and can subsequently manifest in our behavior, especially if they come from traumatic experiences in childhood,” he says.
Is it possible to “unlearn” the negative impact?
Fortunately, Experts agree that it is possible to unlearn the negative impact of the words that have marked us. Ordoñez explains that this does not mean to erase or forget, but rather reduce the emotional burden they cause and give them a new meaning. “The first step is to recognize what affects us and work on it,” he says.
Villagrán recommends working in internal dialogue, listening to how we talk to ourselves. “Many times, our internal dialogue is very aggressive, and this responds to the way they spoke to us in our childhood,” he says.
Changing that critical dialogue for a more compassionate and loving one is key to improving self -esteem and emotional health.
The healing power of words
Although words can hurt, they also have the power to heal. Villagrán points out that psychological therapy is a clear example of how words can be healing tools. “Count what we feel, express our emotions In a safe space, it has a repair effect, ”he says.
In addition, he recommends Use of positive statements to strengthen self -esteem. “Talking to ourselves as we would do with someone we love deeply can transform our way of seeing and treating us,” he says.
This habit must put into practice in all areas where we develop, since words also play a crucial role in the construction of interpersonal relationships.
Villagrán explains that Positive communication, based on respect and empathy, is essential to establish significant connections. “Using friendly words, sincere praise and messages of support strengthens trust and emotional well -being,” he says.
Ordoñez adds that it is important to avoid passive-aggressive language and negative qualifiers. “Minimize the feelings of others or use a tone that generates discomfort can damage relationships,” he warns.
Instead, it recommends prioritizing gratitude and emotional validation in our interactions.
Language as a transformation tool
Words have the power to build or destroy, heal or hurt. From childhood to adulthood, language molds our perception of the world, our self -esteem and our relationships with others.
As Archila points out, “we are all the product of the words we have heard and those that we tell ourselves. Therefore, we must find a way that our Language is clear, concrete, concise, complete and coherent to communicate effectively. ”
Archila also stands out The importance of observing how we act and communicate with conscience, since this helps us develop a psychological transformation that favors better personal communication and our environment.
However, we also have the ability to transform that language. Through consciousness, empathy and compassion, we can unlearn negative patterns and build an internal and external dialogue that allows us to live in a further and healthier way.
As Villagrán says, “every painful scene deserves words of love.” And it is in those words is where we find the possibility of healing and growing.
So, the next time you think about telling yourself a malicious phrase or talking in a certain way with your relatives, reflect on the power of your words and how they can affect you and others.