A love break can be a painful process, but it also opens the door to the reunion with oneself, since this phase leads people to question their evolution in the emotional environment and reflect on the priorities they had set aside when they were in a couple.
Gabriela Escobar, a family psychotherapist, detects that experiencing a break causes a feeling of pain and loss, derived from detachment that begins to feel towards the couple, who had given time and affection, and with whom moments of joy, anger and frustration were shared.
When arriving at the time of emotional breakdown, Escobar points out that it can be a good opportunity to mature and grow personally, since circumstances force the person to rebuild from the break.
Regardless of whether it is a relationship, family or friendship, sentimental breaks entails some pain. Ximena Fuentes, clinical psychologist and couple therapist, emphasizes that it should be allowed to explore emotions such as sadness, anger, nostalgia and confusion, since all feelings are valid.
Sources emphasizes that the love break is similar to a duel, so the pain should not be repressed or minimized. “Crying and talking about what you feel is part of the healing process,” he said.
For her part, the psychologist Anayancy Castro explained that during the ruptures and duel that is going through, it is important not to accelerate the process. “Healing is not linear and does not have an estimated time for each stage,” he said, so it should be allowed to live the duel without judging it and identifying emotions as natural.
What teaches us a love break?
The ruptures, although at the time it is not understood, over time they leave life lessons. Escobar reflects that after a separation, people have the opportunity to make self -observation, known in psychology as introspection.
In that process, aspects such as “can I improve are commonly analyzed?”, “What should I change?” or “What expectations should I adjust?” This helps explore new emotional priorities and identify the changes that occurred during the relationship, Escobar explained.
Another teaching is the strengthening of self -esteem, because it forces to turn that love towards oneself, which leads to self -assessment and demonstrates that the validation of others is not needed, but the own.
“Understanding that we are not worth more or less for being a couple or for what another person thinks about us. The construction of that self -esteem and that self -concept is our responsibility, so as not to depend so much on others and live with more security, fullness and happiness,” added the family psychotherapist.
Resilience is another of the lessons that leaves a love break, since pain becomes stronger, brave and reflective. These teachings help to choose the people with whom you want to share life. “We learn what things are not negotiable, what we will not tolerate again and also value those who give us and are empathic,” Escobar established.
To overcome this breakdown, new goals must be established where a future is visualized without that person. (Photo: Free Press / Shuttersock
How to rebuild self -esteem after rupture?
The psychologist Castro highlights the importance of approaching people who reinforce personal value and provide support, such as family and friends.
It suggests retaking activities that were carried out before the relationship and practicing daily statements. The most important thing, insists, is to value and remember that these actions should not function as distractors, but as mechanisms to channel the healing process.
Activities such as exercise, art and music allow you to create safe spaces and generate dopamine and serotonin naturally, which contributes to well -being.
From the hand of self -esteem goes the reunion with oneself. To do this, Castro emphasizes that the following steps must be followed:
- Make a “detox”, either digital or a personal retirement
- Reconnect with personal values
- Eliminate symbols and routines associated with the relationship
While to improve self -esteem and relieve negative feelings after a break is recommended:
- Attend therapy with a mental health professional
- Write personal achievements
- Perform guided meditations
Techniques to overcome a love break
Ximena Fuentes explains that to heal a love relationship and that detachment, you must start by breaking contact with the ex -partner, including social networks, messages and calls.
Although some psychologists recommend the so -called “zero contact”, Fuentes clarifies that in many cases this is not possible or adequate, especially in the marriage breaking.
Therefore, it recommends establishing rules for communication and delimiting common issues that must still be clarified, which will help cut the emotional dependence cycle.
As a second step, you can create an emotional newspaper. This aims to keep a daily record of ideas and feelings to document the process and advances.
In this line, Fuentes highlights that it can also be useful to write down the learning that the relationship left and what would not tolerate again in the future.
Techniques to reconnect with oneself
Sources details that the grieving process is an ideal time to meet again. Some recommended actions are:
- Resume hobbies that had been left or that had always wanted to have, c
- Uual generates positive sensations and helps to occupy time in pleasant activities
- Prioritize self -care: eat well, sleep enough and exercise
- Practice meditation or “mindfulness” to balance the mind
- Find support networks: Talk to friends or family trusted to consider other points of view. Joining new groups can help socialize and meet people who contribute to our life
- Go to therapy: a psychologist can accompany the grieving process and work self -esteem
- Visualize a future without that person: to consider new small and attainable goals, whether personal, labor, academic or spiritual
A psychologist can help you elaborate the duel and work the self -esteem. (Photo: Free Press / Shuttersock