Family coexistence is essential in the formation of every human being, since each member of the family plays an important role. Although time passes, children grow up and gray hair appears, sharing at every stage of life is essential for everyone.
Children become parents and parents become grandparents, which transforms the family routine and allows new experiences in which everyone must continue participating in their new role.
“Grandparents, who are at the head of our lineage, become an emotional support for the family, especially for the grandchildren, with whom they can create very special bonds. grandparents are more patient and understanding than the parents themselves, which makes any grandchild, regardless of age, feel confident and free from the pressure of daily discipline, where enjoyment and affection are a priority,” explains psychologist Gilda Argueta.
He adds that the presence of grandparents in the lives of grandchildren allows creating a strong natural bond between them, by opening space for the anecdotes, experiences, transmission of wisdom, values, traditions, family roots and life lessons that will help children and adolescents build their own identity and recognize where they come from.
“Grandparents who have learned from all their experiences throughout their lives are still more emotionally stablesince they face any situation or difficulty that arises with greater wisdom, which allows the child to feel not only protected and safe, but also learn to solve problems and process changes without losing their emotional stability,” says the expert.
The benefit of this coexistence between grandchildren and grandparents is mutual. According to Marcia Cabrera, a geriatrician, Sharing with grandchildren gives grandparents a “sense of purpose,” which increases their sense of happiness and fulfillment.
“It is widely described, even in scientific studies, that he Isolation in older people causes depression and increases cognitive decline. So, sharing frequently with your grandchildren gives meaning to your life, because they once again feel that they are taken into account to share.For example, your life experiences. They increase their self-esteem when they feel listened to and, above all, valued; They remember that they have a lot to contribute and they feel useful again, which significantly reduces this cognitive deterioration,” he explains.
In addition, the benefits are also transferred to the physical area, since playing with the grandchildren, Going for a walk or a walk in the park motivates them to have greater mobility and improves their independence and autonomy.. Likewise, when adolescent and young grandchildren are involved in accompanying them to medical appointments and supervising their grandparents’ medications, help improve your quality of life in general.
“Activities such as playing, walking, laughing, talking and answering children’s questions are stimuli that prevent cognitive and physical deterioration, as well as prolonged periods of loneliness and sedentary lifestyle,” says Argueta.
Share, don’t take responsibility
We must not confuse moments of coexistence with granting grandparents the full responsibility for caring for grandchildren while parents work or attend to other activities, since, instead of benefiting them, it could harm their physical and emotional health.
“There is an article from the Spanish Society of Geriatrics and Gerontology that explains that caring for grandchildren excessively can cause stress, until they experience a feeling of overload. This is called caregiver burnout, which is the burnt out caregiver syndrome. This has a negative influence, since they begin to neglect their health: they no longer take their medications and stress can even cause high blood pressure, carelessness in their diet that has a negative impact on diseases such as diabetes, for example,” explains Cabrera.
Devoting yourself exclusively to caring for grandchildren can also cause them emotional problems, such as depression and isolation, since They will put aside their personal projects and they will not have time to see their friends or do other activities that interest and satisfy them.
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“When grandparents go from being those who share hours of play and entertainment to those who impose discipline and rules, it becomes confusing and conflictive for the child on an emotional, mental and family level. One of the consequences of this change may be that the relationship suffers emotional wear.because when grandparents stop being accomplices and become authorities, it will cause disobedience and bad behavior in the child, and it will be difficult for grandparents to set behavioral limits,” says the psychologist.
In the technological age
It is common to see people of all ages with a cell phone in their hand; From children to adults, attention is focused on the screen, often forgetting to enjoy the company of those nearby, such as grandparents.
However, experts agree that Technology can be used positively in moments of coexistence between grandparents and grandchildren, such as to shorten distances when they are not in the same place, through calls and video calls.
“They say: ‘Look, he remembered me.’ I have patients who tell me: ‘My grandson calls me every day, asking me how I am, what I’m doing, if I’ve eaten and if I’ve taken my medicine.’ They feel important and present in the lives of their grandchildren and their families.”, says the geriatric doctor.
Likewise, it is a good opportunity to that the grandchildren share their technological knowledge with their grandparentsby teaching them to use useful devices or applications that may be of interest to themwhich will also lead to new experiences.
“Technology can be used as a bridge that strengthens the relationship and bond between grandparents and grandchildren. Watch a movie or series on some platform streamingchoose a book and make a video call to discuss it, online games such as chess or any classic game, video games, small craft or recipe tutorials, a special WhatsApp group to share photos or important family information, make the family tree, etc.,” suggests Argueta.
Quality time, not quantity
“The most important thing to be able to take advantage of this bond between grandchildren and grandparents is the same as in all relationships: having quality time. It could be 20 minutes, half an hour or an hour a day, in which that they really feel listened to and emotionally connected, that there is real communication; that they are present and available to listen to each other”says Cabrera.
According to Argueta, the key is to move from passive accompaniment to active collaboration, with emphasis on willingness to be there for the other at any time and circumstance: “it’s not just about hanging out together.”
“We must always keep in mind that time with grandparents have a natural expiration date, so every moment dedicated to sharing strengthens love, respect and nourishes family identityand, above all, build memories that will be even more valued in the future,” he adds.
Cabrera and Argueta suggest activities that could foster positive moments of coexistence between grandchildren and grandparents:
- Dialogues with attentive listening
- go for a walk
- Reading moments
- Make crafts
- Play video games
- board games
- attend church
- Do exercise
- Cook and eat together
- Watch series or movies
- read a book
- Attend cultural activities, such as concerts or ballet performances
- Put together puzzles
- Visit museums
- Gardening
- Create photo albums
- Build the family tree
- Drink coffee or tea
- Travel with family
For his part, Cabrera also highlights the importance of taking advantage of the presence of grandparents and remembers that it is essential to give them the place they deserve. “Unfortunately, we have been sold that the stage of old age is a stage of deterioration in which the person is in decline, but this is false. Grandparents are a fundamental pillar in the family; They have already worked, they have already taken care of children, they have already done everything, and now we must appreciate them, respect them and, above all, accompany them in this stage in which they live at a slightly slower pace. We must take advantage of the fact that we still have them present,” he concludes.