The therapy has been part of Katerina Kelly’s weekly routine from primary school, when a teacher suggested this type of consultation for the 8 -year -old girl.
At that time, Katerina’s autism affected its ability to manage time, make decisions and socialize. And for many years, the therapist seemed to be useful. But, when he entered the university, things changed.
“I always left the therapy feeling worse than at the beginning, or insensitive,” said Kelly, 29, who lives in Natick, Massachusetts, and uses Elle/Elles pronouns.
The skills that Kelly’s therapist had taught him in childhood did not translate so well now that he was older. In other words, he had stagnated: therapy and the therapist were not producing the desired results.
Therapeutic stagnation can be discouraging, but does not have to end your search for better mental health. We have consulted psychologists on how to identify whether a stagnation point has been reached and what to do about it.
What exactly is a therapeutic stagnation?
Jameca Woody Cooper, president of the Missuri Psychological Association, explained that, if a dead point has been reached, it may seem that the therapy sessions have become useless or stagnant.
You may be emotionally disconnected from your therapist or that you trust less in your plan. You may feel uncomfortable and tense during the sessions, or have you started to fear appointments or miss them, Woody Cooper added.
Stagnation can manifest as “an increase in irritability during the session or a feeling of misunderstanding,” he said.
There are many reasons why a stagnation can occur, according to experts:
- You have advanced everything you can in therapy at this time
- A different therapist or approach should be conducted
- You need a new therapeutic objective
- You don’t need sessions as frequently as before
- Your expectations are not aligned with those of your therapist
- You are not prepared to explore a trauma of the past or a difficult topic
Kelly had experienced some of these blockages in his relationship with the therapist of his childhood.
“When I tried to raise new things, I told me that we could work on it in the next session, but that never occurred,” he said. “I reached a point where I started feeling very bad.”
So Kelly began looking for a new therapist. It took more than six months, but found someone who accepted his insurance and adapted better.
If you feel stagnant, the ideal is that your therapist also perceives it, said Regine Galanti, Long Island therapist specialized in the treatment of anxiety with exposure therapy.
“When I keep the same conversations for more than two weeks in a row, my alarms begin to sound,” he said.
He added that then it is time to reassess the patient’s therapeutic objectives.
What can you do before a stagnation?
Do not rush to leave therapy after one or two unproductive sessions, the specialists advise.
“Unfortunately, it is not uncommon that, occasionally, a therapy session seems a failure,” said Alayna Park, an attached professor of psychology at the University of Oregon.
But if after three or four sessions you feel that you have not learned new coping skills or that you have not better understood your problem, then it is time to speak, either during the session or by email.
Park suggests some ways to start the conversation: “I have the feeling that my progress has stagnated”, “I would like to learn new or different coping skills”, or simply: “I have the feeling that I am in a therapeutic stagnation.”
It is also valuable to ask the therapist how many sessions could be necessary, how progress should be and how it measures, Bethany A. Teachman, professor of psychology and clinical training director at the University of Virginia.
Although some people can bother to express their concerns, a good therapist does not bother or get angry.
“A good therapy enables patients” to do difficult things, Teachman said.
How to know if the time has come to take a break?
If you already talked to your therapist about your concerns and nothing has changed, you can consider taking a break.
Departing can offer “a sense of decision and time to assess whether the current therapeutic relationship is correct,” said Woody Cooper.
During this pause, you can take time to reflect on your feelings and your behavior, explore different types of therapy or try another therapist, he added.
Annie Herzig, author and illustrator who lives in Fort Collins, Colorado, decided to step back after going to a new therapist for a few months without noticing any improvement in her mood.
Herzig, 43, finally sent an email to his therapist to communicate that he was not getting what he needed from the sessions.
Taking time was useful: Herzig found another therapist with whom he has been treated during the last four years.
“In the end I feel full of energy,” he said about his sessions. “Even if I cry a living tear.”